Words, Words, Words
by mattsloved1
Summary: Lestrade comes to 221B looking for help and notices something odd about John and Sherlock. Well odder than normal. Just silly stuff to make you smile! :-)


**Thanks to MapleLeafCameo for looking over this for me. Also, I don't own them so I can't profit from writing about them. **

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Lestrade raced up the stairs to 221B. He threw open the flat door and found Sherlock and John sitting in their armchairs. Sherlock's eyes flashed with excitement before he reigned himself.

Very calmly, he gestured to the sofa. "Do sit down...Greg and tell me what you need."

Shocked at the use of his first name, Lestrade dropped onto the nearby piece of furniture.

John smiled, "Yes, tell us what we can do for you."

The D.I. opened his mouth but was cut off my Sherlock saying, "You are a poor host, John. Not to ask if he would like a drink."

John raised his eyebrow but turned towards their visitor. "Would you like some tea?"

Lestrade shook his head. "No, no tea for me. It would put me right to sleep considering I've been up all night."

Sherlock smirked as John bit his lower lip in thought. "Would you like a drink that is not tea?"

Beginning to get the feeling something was going on, as it always was, between the two men, Greg asked, "Is there something funny going on I should know about?"

Sherlock shook his head. "Of course not, what would you like to drink?"

Still feeling wary, Lestrade turned back towards John. "I would kill my grandmother for a cup of coffee if you have some."

John chuckled. "Bit not good, but I will make a pot for you."

For the next few minutes, Lestrade outlined the robbery that had taken place at Harrod's and the Yard's inability to find how the thieves had entered and escaped. Sherlock remained quiet; his hands in what John loved to call his 'praying pose.' Soon the doctor returned.

"Would you like cream or white flakes in your drink?" he asked.

A confused Lestrade inquired, "White flecks? Do you mean sugar?"

John nodded his head. "Yes, would you like some?

Lestrade began to really wonder what the hell was going on when suddenly Sherlock shot up out of his chair.

"You lost!" he cried.

Firmly, John shook his head. "No, I did not! He said the word not me!"

Lestrade stood up himself before asking, "What word?"

The other two occupants of the living room glared at one another.

Raising his voice, the D.I. finally demanded, "Okay what the hell is going on with you two?"

Glare still firmly in place, Sherlock turned to face Lestrade. "We can't say a word that has more than one...sound."

Lestrade rolled his eyes. "A game? That's what all of this is about?"

John had the grace to blush but defended himself with, "We have been at it for three days now. _He_ just wants to cheat!"

"I do not!" Sherlock cried, "You are!"

Throwing his hands up in the air, Lestrade yelled, "Enough! You two need to stop this nonsense and come with me to the crime scene. Or I will personally arrest you for being first class idiots and let you sit in a cell for the night. Understood?"

John took a deep breath. "A truce for now? We solve the case and then start once more?"

Sherlock thought for a moment before agreeing, "Yes, truce."

Before going back to the case he had sought help for, Lestrade looked at the two men's faces. "So that's it right? No more of this one word syllable nonsense. Right?"

"Yes," John said, while making his way to the kitchen. "We are done for now."

"Yes," Sherlock echoed. "For now we will stop."

Taking notice of their word choice, the D.I. groaned. "You're still playing! Look, I don't have time for this, all right? Both of you, say jammie dodgers when I count to three. Okay? 1, 2, 3."

Silence.

"I mean it!"

Sherlock looked at John. "You say it first."

John turned away from the sink and locked eyes with his flatmate. "No, you go first."

Ready to tear his hair out, Lestrade grabbed Sherlock by the arm and dragged him into the kitchen until he was standing beside John.

"I am going to count to three and if the two of you don't say it together less than two seconds later I will see you both in cuffs tonight and I don't care if I lose my badge because of it! Now, 1, 2, 3!"

A pause and then both Sherlock and John called out, "jammie dodgers!" at the same time.

Lestrade let out a breath.

"Oh! Thank God for that! It will be nice to speak with words that have two or more syllables again," John said, smiling.

"Excellent! Yes, that is better!" Sherlock agreed. "Now Lestrade, let's go so I can, once again, show Scotland Yard how a criminal should be caught."

Too happy to have the two men speaking like regular human beings, the D.I. ignored the jab aimed at him and his squad.

Of course, the crime proved to be an easy one for Sherlock Holmes and the criminals were apprehended a mere five hours later. As Lestrade watched the final police car pull away, his attention was drawn a few feet away when he heard John cry out, "You said idiot!"

Sherlock answered with, "What?"

"You lose!"

The smile that had filled Sherlock's face quickly disappeared. "I did not lose! We called a truce!"

"Yes," John agreed. "We did, but you closed the case three minutes ago. Therefore, the game had started again!"

"You've said two syllable words! I know you have!" Sherlock argued.

Smirking, John answered. "Do you mean when I said, _A new one for the blog. I am glad this case is done._ O_nce more_ y_ou did great_?"

Sherlock growled before turning away, his coat flaring outwards dramatically. John followed as he continued to relish in his victory.

Lestrade couldn't help but chuckle as he listened to them argue while they left.

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**A/N: Of course the word game is not my creation but John Finnemore's. It is played between Douglas and Carolyn in Cabin Pressure's S4's episode _Wokingham_. :-D  
**


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